January 2011

Greetings, nothing much happening. I'm on break at work. Feeling kind of melancholy today. Wife has been in a funk lately, maybe it's rubbing off in me. Maybe not though, I don't know. I can't explain, but I just feel 'blah'. I think I'm bored.
Lately, the routine is I get off of work at 8:30 in the morning. I get home around 9:15-9:30, have breakfast, get to bed around 10:30-11:00 a.m. I wake up around 3:30-4:00 p.m. I get up, do my workout, have a bath, get dinner, watch the news and Dr. Phil with my wife. I sometimes lay back down for a couple of hours, then go to work at night, then rinse and repeat I start the cycle again.
To borrow a phrase from Jack Nicholson, this can NOT be as good as it gets!
When I look objectively, I have a good life. I have a job, which 10% of Americans right now do not. I am caught up on mortgage and utilities, so that's good. I go to a good church with a real heart for God, but lately I feel an empty space. I look around at home at my wife and son who are surfing the Internet and playing Facebook games, and I am just bored out of my skull. I have hobbies, like drawing and playing guitar, but I bore quickly, so after 15 minutes I'm looking for something to do. I wish I were as entertained by FB games as my family, but it looks about as fun as a virtual Grass Growing simulator. BOOOORRRIIIING.
I do have things I'm thinking about doing. I finished graduate school last fall, and am thinking about applying for doctoral training at an online school. The money is the biggest object, but if this is God's plan, then the funds will become available, I really believe that. The logical secular world stipulated that I shouldn't have been able to go to undergraduate school, or graduate school, but God's economics are different. I know I need to pray to Him for leadership in that area.
If I am not to go to school again for post-secondary training, I want to pursue another goal: build a web site to sell electronic games. I develop PC games, but have never sold one. I believe a good business model and diligent work would make it possible to sell games under my own label.
Also, I want to submit my first draft book for copyright registration. I finished it as part of my thesis project, which grew into a pretty involved project that with a little more fleshing out, became a 240 page book. My instructor encouraged me to slap a patent on it and try to market it.
So, it's not like I don't have things I want to do. I just need to light a fire and do it. I don't know though, I go home, and look around and I feel like I'm in a whole different world than when I am not home. It's weird. I don't know. I think I'm depressed. Maybe I have a hormonal imbalance, or maybe I'm just screwed up. More to come. Got to get back to work.