Roller-coaster Life

Greetings, Internet.
I have been doing a lot lately, and just want to recap. It's a time of mixed emotions I guess. My lovely wife and I just shared an annirversary May 18th. I work nights, and came home to a surprise when she and my son had gotten up early and cooked breakfast. They also played a video on the projector with pictures of my wife and me, set to Rod Stewart's "Have I Told You Lately That I Love You". They also gave me a gift, replacement arts for my satellite radio. I was stoked, and kind of emberrassed. I hadn't gotten my wife anything, as we decided (or so I thought) to do something together this weekend. Also, I was in kind of a fog and unable to even think about our annirversary because of some bad news this week.
The day before, I got a call from my sister-in-law telling me that my dad has cancer, and is inoperable. The doctors might be able to keep it at bay with chemo, which is often more difficult than actually just having cancer. It's weird too, because talking to dad, you'd never know he's sick. He's not hurting, just having difficulty catching his breath on occassion. I'm making a trip back to see him in a coule of weeks, but this is not easy to absorb.

What else is going on...for Mother's Day, I took the wife to a state park where they were having an annual tour of the Black Bears. We rode a tram with 30 people and got some pictures of these amazing animals. One of the shots is in the upper corner of this blog. I wish it was more clear, but I think I was close enough for my comfort zone! We also camped out, and walked a nature trail, snapping some more nature shots, including several turtles, snakes, and other stuff. Good times.

My oldest son is about to hit his 20th birthday. He finished his first year of college and was hoping we could take a road trip, but now with our limited time I may have to cut that as we'll be visiting my dad also. Life seems to be zooming at me lately, but I'm taking it in stride and trying to hold it all together. I'm supposed to be the Rock of Gibralter for the family, although I'm feeling a little more like magma than actual rock this week. If you are reading this, consider praying for my family, especially dad, as he undergoes more tests and treatment. Thanks.

Verse to remember:

PSALMS 1:1-2

"Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, or stand in the way of sinners, or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night." (NIV Student Bible)

This Week in Nerdvana

Greetings! I came across an interesting article here. It got me wondering...if I could send myself a message back in time, what would I say, and when would I do it? Also, how would I authenticate it? I suppose that right now I could come up with a code word that only I would know, like unicorn butt, or something equally bizarre that would make me think, "Yeah, only I would come up with that." And what would I say? The implications are pretty enormous.

I thought for a split second that I could go to 1987 and tell myself to avoid my ex-wife, but then I wouldn't have my awesome son. All my kids are fantastic, but I'm just saying, the first marriage didn't work out but we did produce an amazing young man who is now in college and wants to change the world. I'm proud of him, and wouldn't want to jeopardize his existence. Scratch that idea.

Then I figured I could go back to about 15 years ago, and advise myself to lay off the fatty foods. I'm not morbidly obese, but I do have too much around the midsection that I could stand to trim up. Although, with some discipline I could do it in the present without having to fire up the particle accelerator.

Maybe I could send myself a message to invest heavily in Steve Jobs' Apple futures, then now I'd have my own tropical island. I know money can't buy happiness, all I'm trying to do is prove it. That's really what I'm saying :-) But the truth is that when I think about the changes I would make, I don't think I would be better off.

Every scenario reminds me in some way of why I am blessed in my life. I'm married to an wonderful girl now. My amazing family is involved in church, and we make God the focus of our decisions and direction, so married life now is fantastic.

Sure, I'd like to be thinner, but I like myself alright, and much to the horror of beach-goers I don't have a problem wearing spandex shorts.

I am not wealthy by any one's definition, but I have a marvelous home that I am current with payments on, both of our cars are paid off, and this year I wiped a $2500 credit card debt completely clean. So, I am financially much better off than many people in the world.

I guess where I'm going with this is I have a lot to be thankful for and shouldn't go tampering with particle accelerators and String Theory to try to change it. God made me and you just like we are supposed to be, so we shouldn't try to change it out of self-loathing or anything like that. God is not in the habit of making mistakes.

That doesn't mean I wouldn't send George Lucas a message in 1995 begging him not to include Jar Jar Binks in Star Wars.

Here is some encouragement from God's Word. And as always, this is at least as much for me as it is for anyone else:
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7 [NKJV]

Last Chance to see Discovery Shuttle with the Naked Eye

Calling all nerds:

This is your last chance to see Discovery and the ISS at the same time when they separate, so check out this link, courtesy of Yahoo! and www.heavens-above.com

paste this link:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/space/20110307/sc_space/lastchancetospotshuttlediscoveryinthenightskyever

Most people in the United States will get a chance to spot them, moving from the Northwest to the Southeast. If you go to www.heavens-above.com, click on the link near the top that asks for your location. You can enter the nearest large city and it will tell you where to look. It also keeps a real-time image of where the ISS is at any given time. It's lots of fun, plus you can look up the next Iridium flare, which is when the old satellites still in orbit spin around and reflect sunlight. They look a lot light shooting stars when that happens, which is more frequent than you might think.
Try it, it's fun!

January 2011

Greetings, nothing much happening. I'm on break at work. Feeling kind of melancholy today. Wife has been in a funk lately, maybe it's rubbing off in me. Maybe not though, I don't know. I can't explain, but I just feel 'blah'. I think I'm bored.
Lately, the routine is I get off of work at 8:30 in the morning. I get home around 9:15-9:30, have breakfast, get to bed around 10:30-11:00 a.m. I wake up around 3:30-4:00 p.m. I get up, do my workout, have a bath, get dinner, watch the news and Dr. Phil with my wife. I sometimes lay back down for a couple of hours, then go to work at night, then rinse and repeat I start the cycle again.
To borrow a phrase from Jack Nicholson, this can NOT be as good as it gets!
When I look objectively, I have a good life. I have a job, which 10% of Americans right now do not. I am caught up on mortgage and utilities, so that's good. I go to a good church with a real heart for God, but lately I feel an empty space. I look around at home at my wife and son who are surfing the Internet and playing Facebook games, and I am just bored out of my skull. I have hobbies, like drawing and playing guitar, but I bore quickly, so after 15 minutes I'm looking for something to do. I wish I were as entertained by FB games as my family, but it looks about as fun as a virtual Grass Growing simulator. BOOOORRRIIIING.
I do have things I'm thinking about doing. I finished graduate school last fall, and am thinking about applying for doctoral training at an online school. The money is the biggest object, but if this is God's plan, then the funds will become available, I really believe that. The logical secular world stipulated that I shouldn't have been able to go to undergraduate school, or graduate school, but God's economics are different. I know I need to pray to Him for leadership in that area.
If I am not to go to school again for post-secondary training, I want to pursue another goal: build a web site to sell electronic games. I develop PC games, but have never sold one. I believe a good business model and diligent work would make it possible to sell games under my own label.
Also, I want to submit my first draft book for copyright registration. I finished it as part of my thesis project, which grew into a pretty involved project that with a little more fleshing out, became a 240 page book. My instructor encouraged me to slap a patent on it and try to market it.
So, it's not like I don't have things I want to do. I just need to light a fire and do it. I don't know though, I go home, and look around and I feel like I'm in a whole different world than when I am not home. It's weird. I don't know. I think I'm depressed. Maybe I have a hormonal imbalance, or maybe I'm just screwed up. More to come. Got to get back to work.