General Patraeus Cameo in the New Game Out This Week

 

I'm kind of impressed at how fast they can get a game about current events out these days...

Hitler Reacts to Disney's purchase of Lucasfilm

So, THAT is what it means!

Stuff Other People Think is Awesome But You & I Could Totally Do

Have you ever wondered, why is that person famous? I'm not talking just about people like the Kardashians or whatever. That's too easy a target. I'm referring to people who do jobs that are so easy, yet they rake in wads of cash and/or enjoy the adoration of millions of fans. I'm not jealous. I just want to point out that the people I'm about to make fun of are doing mundane activities that anyone can do. So here goes...

1. The Olympic Bobsled 

This coming Winter Olympics, people will scramble to watch the oddest "sports" event since trampoline jumping; the Bobsled. I just don't get it. You sit in a sled. You ride it down. Gravity pretty much handles the rest. Barring being too large to fit in those little outfits and in the sled, anyone, and I mean anyone, can do this. If bobsledding is an Olympic level sporting event, then I insist they have Water slides in the next Summer Olympics.

      2.  NASCAR 
I've been able to drive since I was 15. By now, I'm guessing I'm pretty doggone good at making left turn after left turn. The winner wins because he has the fastest car. The mechanics and people who design the equipment are the real heroes here, but you won't see those people on a Wheaties box. This is one of those cases of rewarding the wrong person. See the next entry.

       3. Weather Reporter 
Who in the universe can't look at the data that the Satellite and Computer Imagery tell you and read it off of a teleprompter? The real heroes here are the computer wizards who write the code and user interface that interprets meteorological data, and the engineers who build and maintain the satellite equipment. I can read and translate English into English. Give ME a freaking weather anchor job.

        4.  Pharmacist 
By now, you may or may not have seen the Jerry Seinfeld routine where he imitates a pharmacist. "Leave me alone! Can't you see I'm taking pills out of this bottle...and put them into this bottle?"  That sentiment pretty much sums up pharmacy work. Yeah, I can hear the emails being typed up now...I know they have to finish 8 years of school, which takes some discipline. I'll give them that. But all they have to do is read a prescription written by an actual doctor, and fill it. Wow.

        5.  Singer 
Hear me out. I got two words for you. Bob Dylan. The defense rests.

 

        6.  Horse Jockey 
Again, this is a race where the racer who wins doesn't really earn it. He rides the fastest horse. Anybody can ride a horse. You want to impress me? Have the people run carrying horses.

        7.  Abstract Painter 
I'm sick of seeing paintings that look like a 5 year old did it, that go for ridiculous sums.  I know too many very talented artists who can only afford to eat Craft Cheese & Macaroni to appreciate that pretentious art form. It's not even art. It's random nonsense masquerading as art.

        8.  Movie Reviewer 
OK, I have to be honest here. This is one of my dream jobs. To get paid to review movies would be utter Nirvana. I already watch them. I also blog about my favorite genre on my other page. I don't get paid for my opinions, though, I just do it because I like it. Actually, many reviewers got their start doing movies and television themselves. You'd think someone who gives insightful commentary on films would only be involved in a deep, meaningful project. That would mean you didn't know Roger Ebert wrote such junk as Beneath The Valley of the Ultra Vixens.  Yeah.

        9.  Symphony Conductor 
Don't even try to attack me on this one. a guy stands in front of a trained orchestra and waves his wand to the tempo of the music. The thing is, how is it that he is controlling the tempo? It is already written and rehearsed. In many cases, the music has been the same for 200 years. The musicians are reading from their music sheets. Honestly, the conductor can stay home. They got this.

        10.  Political Pundits
I don't care which side of the political fence you are on. This is flippin' annoying. You watch a debate or a speech by a politician, then you are treated to at least a couple of hours of talking heads telling you what it means.  I understood the content. You honestly don't need to analyze it and tell me what they said, or what it means. Get rid of the political pundits, and make more room for Star Trek.

Got a thought? Any other occupations you can name that anyone whatsoever can do? Drop me a comment or send an email to huzdaman@yahoo.com.

If They Mated

If I did my job, you won't be able to look at Paul Ryan without thinking of this again.

You're welcome.

What I Do When I'm Bored

I was bored, so I decided to try to start an Internet Meme. I am a fan of actors like Kevin Kosner, Daniel Craig, and Keanu Reeves. Not because of their stellar acting, but just the opposite. I admire anyone who manages to build a career out of one facial expression.

Several years ago, a movie called Zoolander came out. If you haven't seen it, just know that the main character is a male model who, like the above mentioned actors, always makes the same face. He believes that he is making different "looks", to the point that he even names them; "Le Tigre", "Cold Steel", and "Magnum".

So out of my boredom, I wondered if A-list actors like Craig actually believe they are showing different emotions when they act. I pulled up some photos off of the Internet, and labeled them accordingly. My social experiment is to share this on facebook, and see if it gets any 'likes', or 'shares'. Because I have that kind of time.